Damn Simon Cowell, why can’t he ruin a song I don’t like?
Poor Neil McCormick. I’m not really a Daily Telegraph reader (bet that comes as a shock…) but he did rather get it in the neck for expressing a rather admirable sentiment vis a vis Simon Cowell’s charity record for Haiti.
It goes without saying that I think helping Haitians is a Good Thing, but I can’t help but regret that a beautiful piece of music is, in all probability, about to be thoroughly trashed in the name of charidee, mate.
I feel now and I can come out and say that actually I didn’t like the Band Aid record either. But, as a bleedin’ heart liberal I don’t need to get something physical in return for my aid donation. I am happy just to contribute (actually, I’d be happier still if I could do something more constructive than simply handing over my credit card number, but there doesn’t seem to be much between that and retraining in rescue techniques – not feasible right now).
It doesn’t help that Everybody Hurts is, for me, forever linked to my best friend Helen. Sixteen years on I still wish fervently that she could have ‘held on’, and been here today. It’s a song that makes me cry – just like the original American Pie, one of Helen’s favourite songs, which wrings me out with its death in February (February 19 1994 was the day the music died for Helen) -and I can’t help but feel this version of the song is going to violate all the emotions and memories I have tied up with REM’s original recording.
No doubt, gentle reader, you have already made a donation to the DEC or a similar organisation, because you’re not a racist bigot who thinks the earthquake was God’s retribution for throwing off the shackles of slavery. But, if you do feel the need to create something positive from Simon Cowell’s intervention (ie buying the single), let me know if I’ve badly misjudged him. If it turns out that the charity record is a beautiful and tasteful piece of music I will happily retract all I have said AND even buy the bloody thing.